


a generation lost in space

by poe dameron (americanbeauty)



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: F/F, Features, Homophobia, M/M, also, also apparently stormtrooper school teaches a really limited view of the world, hope my prof likes it, hope you enjoy it!!, it's my first star wars fic, limited as in homophobic, maybe i'll post another one day who knows, the title is unrelated to the fic, this was written for class
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-01
Updated: 2016-02-01
Packaged: 2018-05-17 14:05:34
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,918
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5873305
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/americanbeauty/pseuds/poe%20dameron
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In which Finn is confused and Poe is in love.</p>
            </blockquote>





	a generation lost in space

**Author's Note:**

> this was written for my media fandoms university writing course, so hopefully my professor likes it. (hopefully you guys like it too! hopefully everyone likes it tbh)
> 
> also shoutout to sabrina for putting up with me talking about this fic for approximately 2 weeks
> 
> the title comes from "american pie" by don mclean and is unrelated to the fic except for the fact that they are in space. surprise! star wars takes place in space.
> 
> anyway!! if you like it, let me know! that'd be awesome :) hope you enjoy it!

Finn was confused. Not completely clueless (contrary to popular belief), just confused. Also annoyed. He knew that most people figured he wasn’t knowledgeable about a lot of… social issues, but he wasn’t completely clueless. Granted, the First Order didn’t really teach much about relationships and sexuality (actually, they mostly ignored the latter and focused on the former. Relationships were dangerous and led to him being distracted from his true purpose: aiding in the destruction of the Resistance and the restoration of order to the galaxy), but he did know _something_. 

Following his awakening from his coma, it didn’t take very long for Finn to realize that, while he knew something about relationships, he didn’t know very much. The relationships he witnessed and experienced as a Stormtrooper were very different from the relationships he witnessed as part of the Resistance. Relationships in the First Order were quick, but that was due to the fact that any Stormtroopers caught in one were quickly disposed of. Relationships in the Resistance seemed to last awhile, but that wasn’t why Finn was confused. 

According to Finn’s schooling, relationships were strictly between a man and a woman (Finn remembered two boys in his unit, Blues and Red (named after their eyes and hair, respectively) who were in a relationship and were caught. He remembers that their punishment was worth than death, and how no one repeated their mistakes). And this is why Finn was confused: if relationships were between a man and a woman, then why was no one batting an eye at Jessika Pava and Rey? 

This conflict led to Finn walking through the corridors of the Resistance base at 4:30am, following the familiar path to Poe’s room. The pilot had said that Finn could come see him any time if something was wrong or if he had a question, and, well, now Finn was taking him up on his offer. 

Finn knocked a few times on the door, stopping after he heard movement from behind the door. After a moment, the door opened and revealed a half-dressed and half-asleep Poe, who was yawning and staring at Finn as if he’d never seen another person before. 

“Finn?” asked Poe, finally recognizing the person in front of him. “What’s up? It’s like 4am; why aren’t you asleep?”

Finn swallowed, forcing his eyes to focus on Poe’s face instead of on the pilot’s naked chest, before he answered. “Um, I had a question.”

“And it couldn’t wait until a more humane hour?”

“Uh, no. Not really. Um, I can come back?”

“No, no, it’s fine. Come on in,” Poe yawned, opening the door wider so that Finn could get into the room. Poe turned the light on, and winced as his eyes adjusted to the light. Finn looked down at the floor, ignoring his desire to watch Poe as the latter put a shirt on before sitting on his bed, gesturing for Finn to sit down. “So what’s up, buddy? Got a crush?”

“No!” Finn said, hurriedly. “Well, kinda, like. Not me. I’m not the one with a crush, I don’t think? Wait, what’s a crush?”

“Slow down, Finn,” Poe responded, laughing a little. “A crush is when you like someone as more than a friend.”

“Like a relationship? At least, I think it’s like a relationship.”

“Well, crushes can turn into relationships, I guess. If you’re lucky.” 

“Oh,” said Finn, thinking it over. 

“So what’s your question?”

“Um, so, the First Order taught us basic stuff about relationships. And they taught us that relationships are dangerous and distracting?” Finn said, rushing through the words. “But also that they’re between a man and a woman, and it’s just really confusing. Like, why does no one care about Jessika and Rey? They’re two women, isn’t it forbidden?”

Poe nodded slowly, gulping as he tried to find the words to explain to Finn exactly where his Stormtrooper training had failed him.

“Well, buddy…relationships can be between anyone. Man and woman, man and man, woman and woman. A lot of people – such as the First Order, apparently – don’t like when relationships are between two people of the same sex. But it doesn’t really matter to me, or anyone here. Or, if it does, they’re smart enough to keep their mouths shut.”

“Wait, so it doesn’t matter?”

“Not at all, Finn.”

“So like it’s normal for a guy to like a guy or a girl to like a girl?”

“Completely normal,” responded Poe, smiling a little at Finn’s quick acceptance of his words. “Take me for example: I’m gay.”

“Really?” Finn asked. “Wait, does that mean you like boys?” 

“Yeah! I was actually the first Resistance pilot to come out. It’s not really a big deal here, at least not anymore. At the time, it was really nerve wracking, but everyone was really chill about it.”

Finn nodded, thinking over everything Poe had said. “So are you like the only gay pilot? Wait, did that sound offensive? I didn’t mean to be offensive, I’m just curious.”

“It’s okay, Finn, relax. And I’m not – Jessika came out a few months after I did.”

“So she likes girls?”

“Yeah, she’s a lesbian. And then Wedge – you know Wedge, right?”

“General Antilles?”

“Yeah, him. He’s married – or at least he was, I don’t know what happened when Luke left – anyway, he’s married to Luke Skywalker.”

“Really?”

“Yeah. To be honest, I’m surprised the First Order didn’t make some sort of homophobic propaganda out of that.”

Finn nodded at that, surprised as well. He wouldn’t be surprised if the First Order had a draft of some sort of propaganda that included that.

“So, do you have any other questions?” 

“Um,” Finn mumbled, trying to decide if he should ask the question that’s been on his mind for awhile. “Is there a word for people who, uh, like boys and girls? Like is it normal?”

Poe smiled knowingly, before saying, “Yeah! The word’s bisexual, and it’s perfectly normal, buddy.”

Finn grinned at that, relieved. Poe glanced at the clock, realizing it was past 5:00am.

“You good, Finn? I have a meeting with the General at 5:30 and I should probably get ready for it.”

“Yeah,” Finn nodded. “Thanks, by the way.”

“Anytime,” Poe grinned. 

**

During the weeks following his conversation with Poe, and the realization that he was, in fact, bisexual, Finn noticed things he hadn’t before: the way Poe’s eyes lit up whenever he saw Finn wearing his jacket; the way Poe’s smile seemed to light up even the darkest room; the way Poe’s (admittedly horrible) jokes eased even the most tense of moments. 

Finn noticed things about himself too, about the way he reacted to Poe whenever the latter was around. He noticed the way his stomach flipped over whenever Poe smiled at him. He noticed how comfortable he was around Poe, even though he’d only known the pilot for a few months (even less than that, if you take away the time between when they first met and when Finn woke up from his coma). Most importantly, though, Finn noticed how his eyes were always drawn to Poe, even if the latter had just walked into a crowded room.

Eventually, Finn realized he wasn’t the only one who had noticed these things. Jessika Pava had too, and she let Finn know by cornering him in the mess hall after lunch one day.

“So, Finn...”

Finn gulped. The glint in Jessika’s eyes made him fairly nervous. “Hi, Jessika. What’s up? Wasn’t lunch good? I thought the green beans were particularly–”

“Oh, please, Finn. We both know those green beans could barely be considered food. Anyway, I was going to ask you a question.”

“Yeah?”

“What are your intentions with our fearless leader-slash-idiot?” asked Jessika, eyes narrowing as she awaited Finn’s response.

“What?”

“You know, like… it’s obvious you like him, Finn.”

“It is?” asked Finn, alarmed. “Do you think he knows?”

“He’s an oblivious moron, don’t worry. He won’t know unless someone tells him.”

“You’re not going to tell him, are you? Please don’t. I’m begging you.”

“I won’t tell him, but you’re going to.”

“What? No, absolutely not. It’s pointless. There’s no way.”

“Finn, shut up. It’s obvious to anyone with eyes that Poe is absolutely crazy about you. When you’re not around, he can hardly shut up about you. The other day he talked for 15 minutes about how good you looked in his jacket, and that wasn’t the first time he’s done that.”

“Really?” asked Finn, not daring to believe that this was true. 

“Yes, you idiot. Now go find lover boy and tell him that you like him before I beat you to it.”

Finn nodded, still in shock. “Thanks, Jessika.”

“Anytime, Finn. Lord knows someone had to help you two figure your shit out,” she added, smiling at Finn before walking away, muttering something about how boys were idiots and that she and Rey had never had this problem.

Finn stood there, leaning against the wall, for another few minutes as he worked up the nerve to go find Poe.

**

It took Finn several hours to find Poe, but he finally found the pilot while walking back to his room after dinner. 

“Poe!” Finn yelled, running slightly so he could catch up with the pilot. “Poe, wait up!”

Poe slowed down a bit, turning around and grinning when he saw Finn. “Hey Finn! What’s up?”

“I need to talk to you.”

“Okay. Whose room, yours or mine?”

“What?”

“Where are we going to talk, Finn?” asked Poe again, laughing a little.

“Oh, um. Whose room is closest?”

“Mine, probably.”

“Let’s just go there.” Finn said, suddenly wary of the conversation he was about to have. What if Jessika wasn’t right? What if Poe didn’t actually like him back?

A few minutes later, they were both sitting on Poe’s bed, Poe leaning against the wall while Finn was seated on the very edge.

“So what’s up, buddy?” asked Poe, after a few minutes of silence.

“Um. Jessika told me something today.”

“Did she?” responded a suddenly nervous Poe.

“Yeah, um. She told me you liked me.”

“Oh,” muttered Poe, growing annoyed at his friend for telling Finn something that she shouldn’t have. “Um. You can just ignore her, you know. She means well but–”

“Poe. It’s okay.”

“What?”

“It’s okay. I, um, I like you too,” mumbled Finn, staring at his hands.

“What?”

“I like you too,” stated Finn, more confidently, as he looked up and caught Poe’s eye. 

“Really?” asked Poe, as if he didn’t believe it.

“Yeah. Is that okay?”

“It’s completely okay.”

Finn grinned, despite being unsure of what to do next. “Is it alright if I, uh, kiss you?” he asked, hoping Poe would say yes, but at the same time unsure of what he’d do. He’d never kissed someone before – he’d only seen other Stormtroopers kiss.

Poe nodded, smiling a little in an attempt to ease Finn’s obvious nerves. Finn gulped, crawling across the bed towards Poe, stopping when he was right next to the pilot. 

“Hi,” muttered Finn, his mouth mere inches from Poe’s. He couldn’t believe this was happening. He’d been dreaming about it for so long.

“Hey,” Poe responded, smiling, before closing the distance between him and Finn. 

Finn sighed against Poe’s mouth. He could feel Poe smiling into the kiss, and it was perfect. Poe was perfect. Everything was perfect. Finn doesn’t think he’d ever been happier than he was in that moment, kissing Poe.


End file.
